Profoundly Gifted Parenting

The Ins and Outs of Parenting and Educating a Profoundly Gifted Child

Resources, Top Panel

Holiday Gift List: Math & Physics Books

Here’s a list of some of Elliott‘s favorite books that your mathematician and physicist may also enjoy. Most of these books are at a high school and college level with some exceptions but all are good for the gifted learner.

You can find the neutrino hat (and other cool math and physics shirts designed by Elliott and Michelle) in the picture from our webshop: https://thephysicistscloset.com/

Please note that these links are affiliate links where I receive a small portion of the sale price of the items. This does not increase the price to you!

Radical Acceleration/Early College

Early College for the Gifted Learner

Mainstream media is sharing stories of kids starting college early. Many parents wonder if this is a direction they can take with their gifted child. There is a lot to consider when deciding if this the right road to take. Early college is a highly personalized decision, weighing many factors above and beyond academics. There are many ways to obtain college-level learning and classes, even without being enrolled in community college or university for radically gifted learners.

Mainstream media is sharing stories of kids starting college early. Many parents wonder if this is a direction they can take with their gifted child. There is a lot to consider when deciding if this the right road to take. Early college is a highly personalized decision, weighing many factors above and beyond academics. There are many ways to obtain college-level learning and classes, even without being enrolled in community college or university for radically gifted learners.

Early College Student Statistics

The Center for Educational Statistics reports in 2017, 1.8% (1,233,155) of all full-time college students were 14-17 years old. (These statistics included 17-year-olds that did not grade skip but instead enrolled in college with age-similar peers, depending on their birthdays.)

It is not too uncommon for a 13-year-old to start taking college-level classes. It can be a great way to enrich students’ education, especially if they are thriving in a particular subject or two. It becomes less common if the student fully enrolls in a university at 13 and even more rare starting full time, on-campus college under 12 or younger. There were only 43 full-time postbaccalaureate students in the United States 14-17 years old in 2017.

Is Your Child Ready for Early College?

Deciding to enroll in early college isn’t an easy decision. There is a lot of thought that goes into this rather large decision. Being academically ready for college is only one piece of the puzzle.

For anyone pondering early college, you will also need to look at other considerations besides academic level. Parents may be unaware that there other aspects besides academics when enrolling in college which is essential for a successful experience in college, including their social-emotional development.

A fantastic resource for information regarding radical acceleration is The Acceleration Institute. They have a publication called A Nation Empowered that has valuable data on the types of acceleration. It is an excellent resource for parents of all gifted children, not just early college students. The Acceleration Institute also has a helpful tool called the Iowa Acceleration Scale. It is a beneficial tool for parents trying to decide if their child is ready for grade skipping. Have a conversation with your child to make sure this is something they would like to do.

The Davidson Institute offers parent and student guides for early college evaluations to assess if your student is college-ready, not only academically but “personally” as well. You can find the parent guide here and the student guide here:

PARENTS GUIDE

STUDENT GUIDE

Is Your Student Academically Ready for College?

Gifted students are often asynchronous in development, including what subject’s they may thrive in academically. A gifted student in math may run out of high school-level courses; you may be looking at college-level math classes a whole lot sooner than you expected. There are many great options to study certain subjects at a college level without enrolling in college. Some students will be synchronous in academic classes and find themselves completing high school in a fraction of the time either by grade skipping or curriculum compacting. There are ways to tailor the student’s education to fit their individual needs, ranging from a part-time online class to full-time on-campus enrollment and everything in between.

The most clean-cut way of knowing if your child is ready for college classes is that they have already completed high school level classes. The student should have exposure to high school-level content before college. It will speak of academic readiness and reduce the risk of gaps in education that can be more difficult to fill at the college pace and level. If the student is successful with the high school classes, consider having the student take the SAT or ACTs or the college placement test that your local community college offers. These tests are a good indicator if the student is college-ready, similarly to other age typical high students. It is possible for students under 13 to take the SAT or ACT. (To sign up a student under 13, refer to this prior blog post for more info.)

If your child was given a growth test in school, be aware of what assessment the student took. For example, depending on the student’s test, it may report the 2nd-grade child as of 12th-grade level in a test designed for 2nd-5th graders. Meaning, the score the 2nd grader received is the score a 12th grader would expect to receive on the same test, which is for 2nd-5th graders. It does not mean they have been exposed to or are ready for 12th-grade materials. If they have reached the ceiling of those tests, you may consider having the student taking a test with a high ceiling.

Comprehension, critical thinking, and writing skills will be necessary for college enrollment as well. Even in math and science classes, the student should legibly write and type assignments, reports, labs and communicate independently with their professors. Having completed high school English and composition classes is very beneficial for younger students enrolling in full-time college.

Non-Academic Considerations for College Enrollments

Executive functioning skills

Executive functioning skills are of the utmost importance when considering for-credit college classes. Expectations are younger students will conduct themselves efficiently with limited to no help from administration and professors. During a typical middle school and high school career, the student will most likely have time to develop these skills. However, students that start college early may not have developed the executive functioning skills needed at a college level yet. Evaluate your student for their weaknesses and work on these skills for a successful early college experience.

Executive functioning skills include time management, organization, task initiation, attention span, working memory, self-control, etc. A helpful book to read is “Smart But Scattered Teens,” which is for sale on Amazon.

Social skills

Having adequate social skills and maturity will be critical for the student to enroll in college. The college will assume the student will behave as any other age-typical college student. (IE raising their hands and listening to long lectures without disruptions). The student should be able to conduct themselves with maturity during group projects, labs, study groups, etc. They will also need to know how to advocate for themselves and have the confidence to do so. The student will be on their own as you, the parent, will not be talking to the professors on your child’s behalf due to FERPA regulations. College professors didn’t sign up to teach 10-year-olds in general, so some professors may not welcome a younger student in their classroom. You may consider speaking with the administration on approaching the professors of your child’s classes in college. Sometimes a conversation with the professor will be beneficial to the student and their situation. The administration may also know which professors are a good fit for your child and which ones you may want to avoid. The student should be going into the college environment self-sufficient. Sometimes, college administration and professors may worry about having to “babysit” the student.

Permanent Record

An important consideration is that college credits may stay on the student’s permanent college record. Be sure that the student is ready for high-level classes and the college environment. Credits and GPA may transfer to another institution, even years down the road. Bad grades may lower the overall GPA later in their college career. It may be helpful to consider other options before enrollment into college as a trial run by starting with an online community college class and working up to on-campus courses, and so on.

Considerations for Athletes

High school and college-level sports may disqualify students from participating depending on their accelerated declared grade or early enrollment in college. They may no longer be eligible to play sports with their age-level peers, so thoroughly investigate all the rules and requirements of their chosen sports.

Are You Sure Your Child is Ready?

Don’t ruin early college for the next student. Please be mindful of all the aspects of your child’s readiness. Suppose the college has taken a chance on your student and it did not go well. In that case, they may be less willing in the future to work with students that are ready for the college level and environment. It is a big responsibility so others can follow in your student’s footsteps!

College Level Learning & Credits Without Enrollment in College

There are many worthy options to obtain a college-level education without actually enrolling in college. These options are often free or low costs and allow a student to access higher-level learning.

MOOC classes

MOOC stands for Massive Open Online Courses. Some universities have classes available to anyone to enroll in, including ivy league schools such as MIT, Stanford, Harvard, Rice, etc. These classes are usually asynchronous for any potential student to take on their own time and at their own pace. Often, you can contact the instructor with questions. These classes are free to take, and you can pay to have a certificate issued, if you choose, at the end of the course. While these certificates do not count towards college credit, they can be beneficial for homeschool high school transcripts if your state requires proof of classes taken. It’s also an excellent way to see if your student is ready for college-level learning without potential disruptions on their college transcript. Common MOOC platforms include www.edX.org and www.coursera.org, but there are others as well.

AP/CLEP/DSST

Advanced Placement (AP), College Level Examination Program (CLEP), and DANTES Subject Standardized Test (DSST) are credit by examination ways to obtain college credit. The student may take a class, read a study guide, or take the test to receive credit for college before enrollment. It is essential to know that not all universities accept AP/CLEP/DSST for credits and if they do, they may limit the amount. It is university-dependent, and you should research each potential university your student will be interested in for transfer. The information is typically available on each university’s website.

Auditing College Classes

Some community colleges and universities will allow students to audit classes for free without receiving credit. You may either approach a college professor or the college administration to see if they will consider this. Some colleges have steadfast rules against auditing, while others are open to it. If a professor agrees to audit their class, permission will have to be granted by the administration. The student will attend class as a typically enrolled student without any college credit given. For the whole college experience, the student may perform homework and take the exams. Younger students will enjoy the content and ability to learn at the college. Auditing can also be a great way to evaluate if the student is ready for the college environment, pace, and content level. You may suggest the college test the waters by agreeing to let the student audit a class on a trial basis to enroll in courses in the future.

Earned Admission Opportunities

Arizona State University – Universal Learner (formally know as ASU Earned Admission) is a ubiquitous tool that under 18 students use for college-level classes (Even your 7-year-old!). This program allows anyone regardless of age to take any number of their 23 Universal Learner courses for $25.00. It is not the same as being enrolled as an ASU student. Suppose the student is happy with their final grade; they can pay $400 to receive the earned credit that may be transferable to other universities. However, some colleges will not accept the credit the student has earned for transfer. Utilize the www.transferology.com website to see if these classes will transfer to universities your child may consider or contact potential universities directly. If they don’t automatically transfer, you can request the university to review the course for transfer credit. (You will need the course syllabus to petition for transfer credit.) Completing a required number of courses through ASU UL with a 2.75 or higher GPA may make you eligible for degree-seeking enrollment at ASU.

ASU also has an in-person program called the Herberger Young Scholars Academy. They “work solely with highly gifted students, offering advanced and accelerated curriculum differentiated specifically for gifted learners so we can meet students where they are in their academic, social and emotional development and allow them to grow and develop at their own unique pace. From middle school content to advanced University courses and the opportunity to work individually with ASU professors in a mentorship, Herberger Young Scholars Academy creates pathways for highly gifted students to explore…”.

Another similar option is the Outlier program. The student can receive credit for classes for $400 through the University of Pittsburg. Outlier currently has six courses one can choose from online.

Western Kentucky University has a dual enrollment program (not associated with your state’s dual enrollment program). “Qualified” high school junior and senior level students can take classes for $174/credit (typically around $1142 per class). The student will need to have a high school level transcript already and a 2.5 GPA to enroll. The parent would declare the student as a junior or senior to enroll. Currently, there are 23 classes to choose from in the Online and Early College sections.

These types of “Earned Admission” programs are starting to become more popular, and I suspect more opportunities like this will become available in time.

“Non-Degree Seeking” Programs

Another option for early college is to enroll in a “non-degree” seeking program or community education program. Some universities will offer classes to “non-degree” seeking students. Institutions may limit how many courses the student can take or how many credits are allowable.

For example, Oregon State has such a program. You would apply to Oregon State as a non-degree seeking student, and these classes are $308 per credit.

When looking at non-degree-seeking university opportunities, make sure you inquire if those credits will be allowed to transfer into a degree-seeking enrollment.

Enrolled Early College Options

Dual Enrollment Programs

Many states offer some form of dual enrollment. These programs allow students to take college classes before high school graduation. Dual enrollment programs vary by state and may go by different names. Some may offer part-time or full-time college enrollment before graduation. For a brief listing of what each state offers, check out the States Website Education Commission or google your state + dual enrollment. Dual enrollment programs are funded partially or entirely by the state. Some programs include college enrollment in-person/online classes at the community college/university or “college in the classroom.” The high school will have a teacher or college professor teaching a college-level course for this option.

Some states allow children of younger grades to enroll. In contrast, other states require the student to be registered as a junior or senior in high school. A homeschooled student may be able to declare as a high school junior or senior to utilize the program (even if they are not the age of a typical junior or senior). A public school student would have to accelerate the young student to junior or senior status, which they might not be willing to do. Familiarize yourself with your state’s program and how you could use it for your student’s benefit of no-cost college enrollment, even considering special arrangements with the district and state for your under aged student.

Community College Enrollment

Public 2-year schools/community college is one of the most popular routes of early college for students under 18. Start by researching nearby community colleges and what their entry requirements are. Many community colleges do not require a high school diploma or high school transcripts to be accepted. Outside of a state’s dual enrollment program, attending community college would require out-of-pocket expenses. Financial aid may be an option you could utilize to cover college tuition if the student has officially graduated from high school, including radically accelerated students that have graduated early.

A common question is if you should have your homeschooled or radically accelerated student take the GED test. The general recommendation is no. A GED is not needed for college enrollment. As a homeschooler, a parent can issue a diploma when high school graduation requirements are met for your state’s homeschooling laws. The community college will not need a high school diploma. Universities will accept a transcript with high school-level classes. Many universities still do not look favorably at GEDs and it’s not needed.

Some community colleges may already have a procedure in place for younger students. With other young college students in recent news, it’s becoming less of a taboo idea that some students will be ready for college at a younger age. They may have already had a younger college student come through the system that has allowed them to figure out how to process and accommodate these students.

When advocating for enrollment into community college, start by contacting the president or the dean of of the school. Admissions administration tend to say no out the gate for younger students as they have guidelines they have to follow. By requesting a meeting with the president or dean, they can meet the student. You can provide documentation that can help advocate. Some things you may consider bringing with you are:

•PSAT/SAT/ACT scores
•Transcript of high school level courses taken
•Letters of recommendation of ability and maturity from outside sources (such as other teachers or co-op teachers)
•Portfollio of work that demonstrates late high school level content

You might consider bringing in news stories of other successful young college students to show that this can be a successful endeavor for the student and college. If the president or dean deems the student ready, they can help make special accommodations in admitting the student. The student will be required to take their placement test, such as the Accuplacer, for admission and class placement. This test will determine a student’s readiness for reading, writing, and mathematics courses.

When deciding on a community college, it’s crucial to utilize a website like www.transferology.com or similar to see if the student’s classes would be transferable to a 4-year university of interest. (Sometimes, this information is also available directly on the college of interest’s website.) In some cases, local community colleges will have aligned their standards with the state university. Most of those classes and credits already have approval for transfer to the university. It’s essential to constantly analyze potential universities when deciding what courses to take in community college so that the student won’t have to take additional classes in the university.

It may be possible to receive an Associate of Arts or Associate of Sciences degree before attending the university, even before (or concurrently) receiving a high school diploma. The student often will still be considered a 1st-year college student at the university. It’s best to double-check with potential universities if obtaining a 2-year degree before graduation affects their coming status as a freshman or transfer student. It may have an impact on financial aid and scholarships as well.

Some colleges may have an age requirement which can be a hurdle. The Office for Civil Rights (OCR) enforces the Age Discrimination Act of 1975. The act “prohibits discrimination based on age in programs or activities that receive federal financial assistance, in schools and colleges that receive federal funds from the U.S. Department of Education.”. It is handy to know this information when advocating for your young student. However, there has not been a court case tried concerning early college. A letter from an attorney discussing the ADA of 1975 has helped advocate for some parents. It’s important to note that the student must meet the admission requirements as any other potential student. If your child does not meet all admission requirements, it is likely they will not be permitted to attend regardless of the ADA of 1975.

When a young student attends on-campus classes, the college may have concerns about the student’s safety. It is one of the most reported reasons higher learning institutions have not allowed younger students to enroll. Be prepared that often a parent must be on campus with the student during their classes, especially if the student is younger than 13. Sometimes this means in the classroom with the very young student, waiting outside the door, or somewhere else readily assessable on campus. You may be required to accompany the student from classroom to classroom and be reachable by phone in emergencies. To further the college’s comfort level, you may also suggest that you have an attorney write a hold harmless agreement.

Early College Entrance Programs

Some universities have early college programs such as Bard at Simons Rock, Mary Baldwin University Early College, and CalState Early Entrance Program. These programs are both commuter and residential opportunities and allow students to take college classes with other academically advanced, age-similar peers. Students as young as 11 can enroll in some of these early entrance programs.

Here are some early college programs:

Full-Time 4 Year University Enrollment

Outside of enrolling in a 4-year university as a dual-enrolled student or early college program, some young students may be ready to attend a 4-year institution full-time as degree-seeking students. You will rely on financial aid, scholarships, and grants to minimize out-of-pocket tuition and expenses.

When starting the 4-year university application process, you will also be completing the FASFA (financial aid) form as required by the university. If the student is under 13, you will have to print out a PDF copy and apply by mail. Even if you don’t need or won’t qualify for financial aid, it is necessary to fill out the FASFA form for possible scholarship requirements, including merit scholarships.

Some universities have their applications process on their website, and others only allow applications through the CommonApp. Due to internet privacy laws, students under 13 have to go through a cumbersome process setting up an account.

Starting with community college is an excellent stepping-stone to being admitted to a 4-year university as a degree-seeking student. If the student has been successful in community college, they have established a positive track record of college readiness. It is also helpful in making a high school transcript that most universities require. The student may receive both high school and college credits for their community college classes before graduation and will be able to use those classes on a high school transcript. That is especially helpful for the homeschooled student. (Do note that there are a few universities that do not require a high school diploma, although most do.) It’s best to research potential universities (usually listed on their websites) to see their requirements for admittance.

Suppose the student has taken community college classes or has even earned an A.S. degree. In that case, they may still be eligible for freshmen status, allowing for more scholarship opportunities. Sometimes a university may look at the student as a transfer student. There are transfer scholarships available as well.

Generally, when applying to a 4-year college, the student will have to meet the application requirements, the same as any other applicant. The student may need to have a high school transcript and diploma, SAT/ACT scores, and essays. (All colleges have different requirements, so check with the college your student is interested in for specific requirements.)

It’s necessary for homeschoolers and radically accelerated students to maintain a transcript of high school courses. You can include high school classes, dual enrollment/early college courses, awards, volunteering, or any clubs and sports they have participated in on the transcript. You can make a transcript on a spreadsheet or use a transcript service such as www.transcriptmaker.com. Each university will have listed their requirements from high school graduates, so cross-reference your student’s transcripts with what the university requires.

While some schools are doing away with SAT/ACT requirements, many schools still require these scores for admittance. If your student is under 13 and needs to sign up for testing, refer to this prior blog post on how to sign up for these tests.

Before your student submits their application, it is advisable to reach out to the university, especially if your student is under 17. When you can work as a team with the university, they may be more able to accommodate the student to develop an enrollment plan. They may also put together an advising team to help your student during their college career. It can help establish a graduation plan and enroll in courses with professors sensitive to this unique situation.

Like community college, young university students may be required to have parents or guardians on campus, especially for students under 13.

Good luck on your early college journey! Advocating and arranging early college options for your student takes time, dedication, and a lot of hard work but it’s so rewarding.

If you have any questions, reach out to me!

RESOURCES

https://pre-ap.collegeboard.org/pdf/pre-ap-account-creation-form-students-under-13.pdf

https://nces.ed.gov/programs/digest/d19/tables/dt19_303.40.asp?current=yes

ARTICLES

Thinking Through Early Entrance to College
https://www.davidsongifted.org/search-database/entry/a10096

Minors on Campus: Underage Students at CA Community Colleges
https://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/ED510570.pdf

BOOKS

Early Entrance to College

College at 13

Turn on the Power

Exceptionally Gifted Children

OTHER

Digest of Education Statistics, 2019. (n.d.). Retrieved March 24, 2021, from https://nces.ed.gov/programs/digest/d19/tables/dt19_303.40.asp

Gifted Parenting

Trying to Keep it All Together

Can I get real for a moment? Like, painfully personal? I just need a moment to take a breath. Nothing more. A validation to myself, really.

In the age of social media, we talk about all the things that we as people make us feel happy, proud, show the cool experiences we are doing. Everything on the surface of everyone’s lives looks amazing! I admit, I’m guilty of doing this. Who wants to see the behind the scenes stress and crippling anxiety? The hard work, the door knocking, the long hours, the advocating, the worry… I don’t think we even want to admit it out loud because it would make it that much more real to ourselves too. We just want to remember the good times.

On the surface, everything looks amazing. We have a profoundly gifted child that is quick to learn and has accelerated his schooling. We don’t have fights over IEPs and 504 plans, troubles with grades, acting out, bad attitudes etc., but we do have struggles. The financial implications are especially grand on the path we are on. That’s a hard one to admit. We are not financially independent, and we don’t have a big savings account. And we certainly didn’t have any money saved for college, especially when we thought that college would have come 8+ years later in a typical educational progression. We are self-employed in the arts, taking every job we can, working strange hours in evenings and weekends to make ends meet.

I think the public thinks we have offers coming out of our ears when they hear Elliott’s story. But Elliott hasn’t received any checks from appearing on tv shows, no big companies have offered grants or internships, and no colleges have asked him to come study there. I’m the queen of networking and finding resources but I keep coming up short.

My daytime hours are filled with all things Elliott. It’s a full-time job. The obvious being that a parent having been campus with him daily (before remote learning this year due to Covid). When he enrolled in community college and started on campus at 9, the school requested we stay on campus. That was an easy term to agree to. Here’s our little guy in a world of 18+ year old students. It made us feel comfortable as well. When he was admitted to the university, they were less concerned with having a parent on campus but the campus that stretches miles across two banks and two cities with over 50,000 students enrolled… it seems obviously that we would also be on campus to walk him to classes and keep him company between classes. To keep him safe. We are very aware he’s still a kid. A kid that can be fiercely independent but there’s a difference between being on his own in an age-similar environment as compared to being a minor in an adult world.

Days are also filled with meetings, paperwork, advocating, scheduling building, advising meetings… basically management of an 11-year-old university student. Any given day I am filling out FASFA forms, hunting for scholarships, filling out paperwork required for the state, fighting with the College Board to sign up for SAT tests, trying to arrange his class schedule to line up with his degree progress and classroom locations as well as timing and fall/spring offerings, communicating with his colleges to get transcripts transferred back and forth…the list goes on.  Did you know that you can’t sign up a student for any online accounts when they are under 13? This is the bane of my existence. It slows down every process. When one gear stops, the whole machine comes to a grinding halt. All those forms and applications students typically can do online, have to be done by hand and mailed in. Everything takes SO. MUCH. TIME. Let’s not forget about all the phone calls, emails, meetings, networking we had to do to get Elliott into the community college and then the university and now grad school. Let me tell you, you don’t just submit an application like an 18-year-old. While these things are typical for the 18-year-old going off to college, it’s nothing typical for a 9-year-old.

Point is… it’s an unpaid full-time job. All the while trying to tend to and nurture our businesses as much as possible. I can’t work a “regular” full time 9-5 job. This is a very different lifestyle in order to accommodate Elliott’s educational needs. Why do it? In short, we’ve been there, done that and learned all the negative effects the hard way. We decided to take on this lifestyle to give Elliott the education he needs. It’s the air that he breaths to survive. Could we throw him back into 6th grade and get typical full-time jobs with vacation time, 501ks, health insurance…? No. It isn’t an option. When he went to kindergarten at 5, I thought this meant I would be able to focus back on my career… to work full time. Life had other plans!

We’ve taken advantage of all we can in order to pay for college. We utilized the states Post-Secondary Education Program (PSEO) that allows high school students 2 free years of college. We didn’t implement that program until the second year of college because we had no idea how the first year was going to go. We paid $6,000 to pay for Elliott’s first year at community college. The following two years were covered under the state’s PSEO plan and then I had to scramble to fund the rest of his undergraduate studies (which thankfully have worked out with financial aid and a Presidential scholarship after much worry and stress.)  I’m working full time to advocate for Elliott, and we are in the middle of a pandemic where my husband’s industry was one of the hardest hit, with mine right behind his. I’m exhausted trying to make it all work out.

Now that our search starts for looking for graduate schools for Elliott, it could possibly mean a move across the country. We would be starting our businesses all over and the hustle would start from the very beginning of building our careers in another town, particularly an expensive one that has a music industry that would actually pay enough to bring in enough money for living expenses. I’m already exhausted thinking of this overwhelming obstacle. We can’t just send a 12-year-old to CalTech or USCSB to live on his own. We’ve decided if one goes, we all go. Being together is a strong value we hold, and we won’t compromise on it nor should we have to.

Along with our sacrifices, we’ve been incredibly blessed with extremely wonderful friends and family that have been supportive to us on our journey in ways that we will forever be grateful for. Thank you all for being a part of Elliott’s story!

But hey, if you have a rich uncle with a vacant house that needs looked after for 4 years in California, maybe you can put in a good word for Elliott and his parents? Kidding. Well, kind of… but not really.

Parenting a Gifted Child
Gifted Parenting, Radical Acceleration/Early College

What Grade Are You In?

Anyone with kids will inevitably meet someone in public and be greeted with the question, “so what grade are you in?”. I can recall squirming in my skin when that happened to us. Gifted education can really take a student on a different journey.

I think it’s important to know that when someone asks your child what grade they are in, they aren’t actually asking what grade they are in. They are really making small talk and wondering how old they are. It’s up to you to decide who you let in on your secret… or if it’s a secret at all.

Our answer took many forms over the years, especially as we got more comfortable with the place Elliott was in at any given time. The answer also depended on the person asking. If it was just some random person at the grocery store, the answer would typically be, “Oh, I’m 7!”. Or, “I’m homeschooled”. Sometimes, if Elliott was in the mood, he would say, “It depends on the subject!”. That always raised some curious eyebrows. I typically let Elliott answer the question exactly how he felt best to answer it any given day.

How much time we want to put into these conversations is up to us. If you or your child aren’t comfortable sharing, you don’t have to! If it was someone we were interested in developing a future relationship/friendship with, we might go a little further into the answer while still guarding it a tiny bit. When random-person-in-public is making small talk, they don’t expect to get into our life story either. Sharing their age or that they are homeschooled typically is sufficient. Only a couple times did someone dig further in for an expedition.

Once Elliott started college full time, we took pause and reflected on how to answer this question. We wanted Elliott to know he can be just who he is without having to hide anything. We knew there would be questions and some people who think that we are bragging or doing wrong by him. While radical acceleration is rare, we certainly aren’t the only ones. You just don’t hear a lot about it. Part of advocating for our community is sharing our journey and taking the taboo out of it. This helps people to see that every person can be on their own journey and that it’s ok to be proud of who you are! It can also help open doors for other kids that need acceleration as well.

Today Elliott is proud to answer, “I’m a junior at the University of Minnesota!”. He’s earned that answer and we’re very proud of who he is!


Radical Acceleration/Early College, Resources

ACT & SAT Testing for Students Under 13

UPDATE AS OF 11/22/2021: ACT IS AGAIN ALLOWING UNDER 13 TO SIGN UP FOR THE ACT HOWEVER SAT/COLLEGE BOARD IS NOT ALLOWING UNDER 13 TO REGISTER FOR SAT TEST DATES. READ ACT BELOW FOR INFO ON HOW TO SIGN UP FOR THE ACT.

UPDATE 7/27/2021: AS OF RIGHT NOW, NO STUDENTS UNDER 13 CAN SIGN UP TO TAKE THE ACT OR SAT. MORE INFORMATION WILL BE PROVIDED AS WE ADVOCATE MORE FOR OUR KIDS. I ENCOURAGE YOU TO WRITE LETTERS TO ACT AND THE COLLEGE BOARD.

It may seem crazy to have a student under 13 take the SAT or ACT. Is it even possible? Why would you have your child take such a test and how do you go about signing up for these tests? In this post I’ll share what you would need to know about under 13 year old gifted cohorts taking college entrance exams.

Often times the achievement tests that students are given in school have age/grade ceilings which gifted children often hit. It’s hard to get an accurate picture of where the student is if they are coming in at 99% or higher on these tests. You need to move the ceiling to get a better idea of where they are academically. Above grade level test results can help give you a better snapshot of where they are academically and how to accommodate your child’s educational needs.

Once you have test results and understand your child’s academic level a little better, those results can help you determine the next steps in placement at school. Those scores are compared to junior and senior aged students. Often times PG kids need to be radically accelerated in one or more subjects. When approaching a high school or college to see if your child can enroll, having those test results are helpful because it’s a language the colleges can speak. They won’t know what to do with IQ testing results. That’s not meaningful data to them. ACT/SAT results can help get you in the door and will speak loudly for your child’s needs. If your child does well and you will be using the results to advocate for college placement at a radically accelerated age, the results will also be useful in applying for scholarships.

Taking these tests can also be helpful for gifted kids to provide experience of taking college entrance exams when the scores don’t stay on their permanent record and aren’t reported to colleges. For example, SAT scores of students 8th grade and under are automatically purged some months after the test unless you write The College Board to request to have them stay on their record. (The College Board says that the test results will be gone however you can pay an unarchival fee in the future if you need those test results.) When you remove the pressure that these scores don’t necessarily count for anything, it helps ease the testing anxiety in some children. The student will get to experience what the testing environment is like, how to fill in the testing sheet, and what it’s like to take a test with time constraints. Some students really enjoy taking the test while others may appreciate the low stress practice to help anxiety issues.

How to Sign Up for the ACT or SAT

Signing up for the ACT and SAT isn’t always the easiest to do for students under 13 years old. But there are ways around it. The easiest way to sign up for these tests is to do so using a talent search program. Programs like Northwestern’s NUMATS or Duke’s TIP have an easy way to sign up for testing on their websites. The results may also allow the student to take classes and summer camps through these programs. (I will list the talent search programs at the end of this post.) These classes can give an opportunity for students to meet other kids that may be both academically and socially similar to your child. Students with high test results may also be invited to award ceremonies which can be a fun place to meet other gifted children as well as receive an award/medal (travel would be required to attend the ceremonies). A draw back to signing up though a talent search program is the fee to test will be higher than signing up directly though ACT or The College Board.

Because of COPA (Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act), young students are not allowed to set up an online account with ACT or The College Board (SAT). This is very frustrating because this means you cannot sign up directly through them using the websites. Instead, you have to jump though some hoops to get registered.

ACT Registration

ACT is a little easier than The College Board to work with however they recently changed the procedure. You used to be able to request a registration packet right from their website to be mailed to you. However, they are no longer printing paper registration packets. This information has not been updated on their website. It just says that “paper registration has closed for this year”. What you need to do is send an email to ACT (act-cares@act.org) to request a digital version of the registration packet to be emailed to you. They will also email you a “customer care case number” that you MUST include on the top left of the registration form when you snail mail the registration forms back to ACT.

Current as of 11/22/2021:

“The student’s parent or legal guardian should fill out the form in its entirety and then return it to ACT-Services@act.org. With the provided information we will then create an account on behalf of the student. When that is complete, you will receive an email with instructions on how to access the new MyACT account.”

Email me for a copy of the form: michelle@michelletanner.net


Email: act-cares@act.org
Phone: 319-337-1270

SAT Registration

11/22/2021: COLLEGE BOARD IS STILL NOT ALLOWING UNDER 13 TO SIGN UP FOR SATURDAY TESTS DATES. THEY DO SAY THAT A STUDENT CAN ASK A LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL IF THEY WOULD BE WILLING TO ALLOW THE UNDER 13 STUDENT TO TEST ON THEIR IN SCHOOL TESTING DATE. THE HIGH SCHOOL WOULD REGISTER THE STUDENT.

UPDATE AS OF 3/9/2021:

The College Board quietly updated their stance on allowing and the procedure of setting up a College Board account for SAT test takers that are under 13 that have not or will not also be associated with AP classes/tests alone. (Before, if you were taking an AP class/test, you could get an account but NOT for just SAT test registration. When the student was registered for AP, the SAT scores also populated in that account but you couldn’t get an account without AP classes/tests. This has now changed!)

New procedure

Send an email to: accountrequest@collegeboard.org The forms are in this dropbox file. Fill out the forms and email them to the above address. The address you email from must match the parent email address on the form.

PDF FILE: pre-ap-account-creation-form-students-under-13-1Download
.XLSX FORM: pre-ap-account-creation-form-students-under-13-1-1Download

The College Board (SAT) is a little more difficult to work with so pour a cup of coffee and plan on some time on the phone when you call them. Not all their customer service reps are well versed in students under 13 signing up for the test. To sign up for the SAT under 13, you must call the customer service number at 866-756-7346. Tell the customer service agent that you would like to register a student under 13 for the test. (Some of their reps will say it’s not possible. Ask for someone else.) If they ask which testing date you are signing up for, tell them a date within 2 months. Some agents will refuse to send you a packet if the date you want is over 2 months away. But you need to plan a lot of time because it can take weeks for them to mail you the packet and then you have to send it back and wait for the approval of the testing date. You will get an email back saying that the student is signed up. But you will also get a slip in the mail which is the students testing ticket. YOU MUST HAVE THAT TICKET THE DAY OF THE TEST in order to take the test. The student will not be allowed to take the test without that ticket. Also note that students under 13 do not have to send a picture with the registration packet but they must have ID with them on the day of the test. If they don’t have a picture ID, you can have the child’s school fill out the picture wavier form found here: https://collegereadiness.collegeboard.org/pdf/sat-student-id-form.pdf

Because the student will not have an online account, you will not receive the scores electronically. You will have to wait an extra week or so for the score report to be mailed to you after results are released. You are allowed to call The College Board to get the scores verbally on the day results are released. This is free because they are under 13 but some customer service agents will try to tell you there is a $10 fee. This is incorrect and ask to speak to a supervisor.

Side tangent: The College Board does have a way for students under 13 years old enrolled in AP classes or taking AP tests to sign up for a College Board account. They refuse to implement this for PSAT/SAT test takers to do the same. Many people in the gifted community have tried to advocate for our students about this issue to no avail. If your AP student does take the SAT, then those results will be in their online account. I am not a fan of The College Board to say the least. If anyone reading this in upper management at The College Board, feel free to reach out to me so we can help resolve this issue together. The College Board is underserving the gifted community which in turn is detrimental for the education of these students!

I hope you found this information useful in why and how to sign up for college prep tests for younger students. I will update this post when I find there has been any changes to any of the procedures. Below I will post information on a few of the different talent search programs you may find interesting, even if you just want to sign up for testing though them to make registration easier. Taking the tests though the talent search programs does not commit you to using any of their services.

Talent Searches

Links and information taken from each respected website. Also note that testing results taken with one talent search program (or directly though ACT or The College Board) may also be submitted to other talent search programs. You also don’t have to apply for programs in just your regional area. You can sign up for these programs wherever you live in the United States and beyond.

Northwestern University Midwest Academic Talent Search (NUMATS)

NUMATS is a research-validated program that utilizes above-grade-level assessment to help parents and educators better understand their students’ academic strengths and educational needs. NUMATS allows eligible students to take internationally recognized tests before the grade levels at which they are normally administered. The PSAT™8/9 test, designed for students in grades 8 and 9, is administered to students in grades 3 through 6. SAT® and ACT®, designed for students in grades 11 and 12, are administered to students in grades 6 through 9. NUMATS identifies academic ability, measures growth and connects gifted students to educational resources and opportunities for enrichment and acceleration.

Duke University Talent Identification Program (TIP)

The Duke University Talent Identification Program is a nonprofit organization that supports academically talented students in grades four through twelve. We offer above-grade-level testing, enrichment resources, year-round learning options, residential summer programs, online courses, and original research to supplement what students receive in school.

Johns Hopkins Center for Talented Youth (CTY)

The world leader in gifted education since 1979, Johns Hopkins Center for Talented Youth is a nonprofit dedicated to identifying and developing the talents of academically advanced pre-college students around the world. We serve bright learners and their families through our research, advocacy, and counseling, as well as our signature gifted and talented summer, online, international, and family programs.

Johns Hopkins Study of Exceptional Talent (SET)

The Julian C. Stanley Study of Exceptional Talent (SET) provides direct services free of charge to students who meet eligibility requirements. SET evolved from a concern that students whose reasoning abilities are exceptionally advanced for their age may need an educationally advanced program to be optimally challenged. In addition, they may lack a peer group that shares their interests and abilities. While all of CTY’s programs have been developed with these concerns in mind, students who score at the highest levels on tests of ability or achievement may be most at risk of failing to achieve their full potential if these issues are not addressed. Thus, SET focuses on working with students who achieve exceptional scores on the SAT through CTY’s Talent Search or through another venue.

Find a complete list of various other talent search programs on the Davidson Young Scholar website here: https://www.davidsongifted.org/search-database/entry/a10260

10 year old Elliott waiting to take his SAT test!

UNDER 13 SAT REGISTRATION FORMS:

PDF FORM: pre-ap-account-creation-form-students-under-13Download
.XLSX FORM: pre-ap-account-creation-form-students-under-13-1Download

Gifted Parenting, Guest Writer

Public School for Profoundly Gifted Children: 6 Tips You Can Use

Kim Hildenbrand, Guest Writer

When I found out my first son was profoundly gifted (PG), I was shocked … maybe a bit giddy. Wow, look at that! He’s a special kid, all right!

Fast-forward a couple of years (years filled with agonizing decisions, advocacy, and nonstop worrying about whether we were meeting his needs) and we found out our second son was also profoundly gifted. Forget the ticker-tape parade, and cue the sad trombones. I felt like I’d been slapped in the face. I turned to the psychologist, heart racing, and said, “You. Are. Joking.”

He laughed. “I never joke about IQ scores.”

So there it was. That was it. And here we go again.

Wow, this gifted kid thing sure is fun and easy! said no one ever.

Let me get one thing straight: I love my kids, absolutely adore them, and wouldn’t change a thing about them. But at times, having a gifted kid can be so dang hard. And all-consuming. And confusing. And draining.

We’ve tried to do our best; we really have. We got our boys into Davidson Young Scholars, which is a fantastic program for kids whose IQs are in the 99.9th percentile. We found a chess club that’s not too far away. And, most important, we took a long, hard look at our schooling situation, and decided we had to do something. The problem was what.

Public schools weren’t designed for profoundly gifted students.

If you’re the parent of a profoundly gifted child, I will tell you right now that probably public school’s not your top-tier, No. 1, 100 percent best option. How could it be? It’s not designed for kids who are that different.

However, if you’re like my family, it may well be your only option.

I so greatly admire families who homeschool and allow their gifted kids to radically accelerate and work to their full potential. I also listen eagerly when people talk about their private schools for gifted children. But public school is the solution that fits our lifestyle, careers, and budget. For those in the same boat, I’ve compiled a few tips for PG families who are navigating the world of public education.

1. Exercise patience.

They say the word that resonates most with gifted kids at school is waiting … waiting for others to catch up, waiting to not be so bored, waiting for the challenging stuff to start, waiting to find kids they can connect with … waiting, waiting, waiting. And sometimes that’s true for parents too.

If you choose a public school, remember they’re serving all kids: the kids who struggle, the high achievers, the kids with special needs, and the English language learners. Likely no one employed by your child’s school district is truly an expert about giftedness.

If you come in talking fast about 2e, processing speed, asynchronous development, executive functioning, and standard deviations above the norm, you might get a few funny looks. If you start getting pushy about class placement, you’ll get even funnier looks.

Remember that schools also have processes and systems that might make no sense to you. You likely will wait for a test to be given and then wait for the results … at some point, you might wait for emails and phone calls to answer what you consider simple questions.

You might encounter teachers who say, “Every child is gifted” and administrators who confuse giftedness with achievement. Do your best to be kind and patient. And when you get really frustrated, try to remember that they’re probably doing their best.

2. Know the limitations.

The ink was still drying on my son’s IQ test, yet I could hardly contain my excitement to show it to his school. Now they’ll get it, I thought. Now they can meet his needs!

But here’s the thing: Even in the best-case scenario, school GATE/highly capable programs are designed for gifted kids—not exceptionally or profoundly gifted kids. And there is as much difference between a profoundly gifted kid and a gifted kid as there is between a gifted kid and a typical kid! These kids are the outliers among outliers.

Your school cannot design a brand-new gifted program tailored specifically to your child. So you will likely find yourself making do, supplementing at home, and advocating. Your PG kid will need challenges—real challenges. Go in with your eyes wide open, and make a plan. And another plan. And maybe one more for good measure.

If you’re lucky, you’ll find amazing support right within your school. In our case, that means an excellent principal and several teachers who understand, respect, and care about our boys. Our teachers work tirelessly to give our sons the best possible experience, and they’re always open to our ideas.

3. Channel your frustration.

Once you dive into the world of gifted-kid stuff, the things you didn’t understand start to make sense. Ah, this is why my kid is so sensitive/ intense/ perfectionistic/ difficult/ wishy-washy/ impatient/ emotional/ stressed/ angry/ sad/ empathetic insert-your-adjective-here!

You may actually start to feel like an expert on giftedness! The problem? No one else quite gets it. After all, they’re not living it.

You may find yourself reading about how a certain test isn’t ideal for gifted identification, only to find out that it’s the test your kid’s school uses. Yikes. And yes, as bonkers as it is, there are profoundly gifted kids who can’t even make it into their own school’s gifted program because they didn’t pass the school’s ability or achievement tests. That’s the school district’s prerogative, and it will take time, energy, and teamwork to effect any sort of change.

At times you will be very, very frustrated. So channel it toward something positive. Start a conversation. Ask questions. Listen. Offer suggestions if they seem open, and seek outside advice if they don’t. (A gifted advocacy group or ombudsperson can be a lifesaver.) At some point down the road, you may be able to put your knowledge to good use by helping others.

4. Let go of guilt.

I have a lot of guilt about my kids’ educational experience. In particular, I wish I could borrow Hermione’s time-turner and zoom back to my middle child’s miserable first grade year, at which point I would whisk him out of that school and never look back—on the first day rather than the last.

I also have guilt that we can’t do everything: Often those cool gifted-kid classes are expensive and time-consuming, and they don’t always mesh with our family’s schedule.

Sometimes when I see what other PG kids are doing, I feel a pang … for instance, my older son doesn’t participate in Math Olympiad, he’s not on a science team, and he’s not enrolled in a college course. But he’s happy and he’s loved, and we talk all the time about how to better nurture his gifts. So I refuse to let guilt eat me up.

5. Get your kid a mentor.

My younger son’s kindergarten class has 24 little people in it. That’s a lot. But even in a small class at a public school, your kid’s just not always going to get the individual attention you may be hoping for.

When I wrote a personal essay for HuffPost about the challenges of having a gifted child, one of the best things that came out of it was an email from a college professor who offered to serve as a mentor.

Though he doesn’t live in our state, my boys’ mentor meets with both of them via Skype each week. They recite affirmations, and then he coaches them in chess, teaches them math concepts, and imparts words of wisdom. “You have another advocate,” their mentor said to me one day, and I can’t remember the last time I felt so deeply grateful.

6. Find your people.

I love my friends, but I can’t always talk to them about the stuff that’s going on with my kids. It just doesn’t work. Thanks to Davidson Young Scholars and a few other terrific programs, parents who understand my family’s unique challenges are only a click away. I can’t even express how important that is to me. Sometimes we speak in a kind of shorthand, and vent about things that only we understand.

Parenting a PG kid is no small task. I want to find the best opportunities, I want to advocate, but some days I don’t have a whole lot of fight left. Those are the days when I need my people to tell me I’m doing OK—and that my kids will be just fine.

Do a quick search—Hoagies, [your state] gifted association, profoundly gifted, PG, poppies, gifted children, gifted parenting, and other keywords and phrases are a good place to start. Find your people—and then hold on for dear life. Because having a gifted kid is one wild ride, and you don’t want to do it alone.

Kim Hildenbrand is a mom of three and writer in Washington state. She is a passionate advocate for gifted children. Find her on Twitter at @kimhildenbrand. 

Gifted Parenting, Resources

Why We Advocate for the Profoundly Gifted Child

Big Regrets

Elliott always craved academics and self-taught many things. We “homeschooled” at 3 because that’s what he demanded. He wanted ALL the workbooks, ALL the textbooks, ALL the science documentaries. We could not keep up. We were very loosey-goosey, and it was definitely a form of unschooling. (“Learner-chosen activities as a primary means for learning.”) Our Barnes & Noble receipts added up to over $2,000 by the end of the year because he refused to go to the library. He wanted to keep all the books for “research”. Well played, little man.

Time came when we had to decide if we should enrolled him in kindergarten. When he was 3 and 4, he was already testing years ahead academically. For months we contemplated the idea and researched until our eyeballs bled. Finally, we felt that if we put him in a Spanish immersion school, then he could at least learn a second language and get this socialization stuff that everyone goes on and on about. We applied for a lottery spot at a local Spanish immersion charter school. Elliott didn’t get in and ended up being number 15 on the list. The decision was made. Full time homeschooling it is! Since we had already been doing schooling at home, the idea didn’t seem to be much of a transition. Suddenly one morning, a frantic 7am phone called woke us up. A spot just opened and we had exactly .5 seconds to make an immediate decision on our child’s future. We said yes. Soon after came kindergarten screening day. It went something like this:

“Can you count to 10?”, the tester asks Elliott.

 “Yes! Which language do you want? English, Spanish, Swedish? Uno, dos, tres….” The tester stopped him at 100.

“Well, do you know the alphabet?” asks the tester.  “Yes!” he exclaimed and continued to sing the alphabet in all three languages.

I’m sat on a miniature plastic chair with my head craned awkwardly outside the testing room, doing my best to eavesdrop on their conversation. I could hear Elliott go on about the elements, particles, and sharing his math knowledge. As the screening concluded, he joyfully bounded out of the room and handed me a sheet of paper.

Whoa. Ok. I guess I’m not hip to this evaluation system because I know I just heard my 4-year-old count to 100 in a 2nd language on a test that asked him to count to 10 in English and you gave him a “needs improvement” score for knowing his numbers. I had a lot to learn.

Drop offs were hell. Elliott would cry every day on the way to school. “Please don’t make me go.”, Elliott would plead. A dagger to my heart would have been less painful. I thought it was just separation anxiety. His teacher reprimanded me for giving him a tight squeeze and staying until he dismally entered the school. “Just go, it’s better if you go. He will be fine!” Ok, ok, she must know best. She’s the teacher after all. We would pick Elliott up after school and he would be this sullen, quiet little boy that we didn’t recognize. By day, Elliott became the teachers helper and went around the classroom helping the other students with their work, by night he would come home and bury his head in his high school level textbooks.

We decided to have achievement testing done to get a better idea of where he was at and to learn how he operates. We were a little shocked at the higher than expected scores but it all started to make sense. Our vision became clearer of who he was and what he needed.

Towards the end of the school year, we approached his school armed with the test scores to see if he could skip a grade the following year (enter 2nd instead of 1st). I wish I had been armed with more information than just the test scores. Lesson learned. The director of the school looked at us and laughed. LAUGHED. “Everyone thinks they have a smart kid.”, she said.

That was the moment I realized the next 13 years or more of my life would be spent advocating for his education. Having our son finish out the whole year in a completely unsupported kindergarten environment is one of my biggest regrets of my life. Live in learn… that was a really tough lesson.

Advocating for the Profoundly Gifted Child

Profoundly gifted kids have much different educational needs than a neurotypical child or even a gifted child. They often have deep passions that they dive into with all their force and can complete multiple years of curriculum in months. Although, no two educational paths look the same for profoundly gifted children.

I’ve learned a lot since that disheartening day in the administration office at the Spanish immersion school. Thankfully since then my husband and I have been able to successfully advocate for our son. Which in turn has brought him to full time college at the age of 9 after utilizing multiple types of acceleration.

A Nation Deceived reports on 18 different types of acceleration:

  • 1. Early Admission to Kindergarten
  • 2. Early Admission to First Grade
  • 3. Grade-Skipping
  • 4. Continuous Progress
  • 5. Self-Paced Instruction
  • 6. Subject-Matter Acceleration/Partial Acceleration
  • 7. Combined Classes
  • 8. Curriculum Compacting
  • 9. Telescoping Curriculum
  • 10. Mentoring
  • 11. Extracurricular Programs
  • 12. Correspondence Courses
  • 13. Early Graduation
  • 14. Concurrent/Dual Enrollment
  • 15. Advanced Placement16. Credit by Examination
  • 17. Acceleration in College
  • 18. Early Entrance into Middle School, High School, or College

Your first decision is to decide what schooling direction that is going to be the best fit for your child which is another huge topic in itself. It’s also important to know that this decision may not be the best one and you can always change course.

After a disastrous experience in Spanish immersion, we pulled our son to homeschool him full time. By 7/8 years old he was ready for high school work. We did as much enrichment as we could which included field trips, play dates and more, but he devoured everything we threw at him. He completed high school classes with text book curriculum, some online classes, and we were able enroll him in a local homeschooling co-op for honors chemistry with lab and an applied engineering class. But finding a co-op that was welcoming of his age was difficult. I didn’t give up. My dad always taught me to ask. What’s the worst can they say? No? Then you keep knocking on doors!

Here are the things that I have found important from a parents perspective in advocating in whichever path you decide to explore:

1. Be Tenacious

You know how you’re told you are your own best advocate especially when it comes to health care? The doctors only have a snapshot of what is going on with you with the information you or your body provides for them. The same is true for your child’s education. No one is going to love or support your child the way you do. Schools will say, “let’s review after winter break and see how he/she is doing by then.”. Now you’ve just wasted months and the child is that much more bored/ignored/lost/depressed not being able to engage at an appropriate level. Oftentimes you will be placed on the back burner. Sometimes it’s because there’s so much other stuff going on within the school, sometimes it’s because it’s their protocol to evaluate and wait it out, and frankly, sometimes it’s because they hope you will go away and they won’t have to deal with you by telling you to go fly a kite or try to make accommodations that they really aren’t equipped to handle. Send emails, make phone calls. If it’s not the right person, keep on keeping on until you find the right person. Follow up. Don’t let it go or wait too long. I’m an introvert. I get it. This is hard. But no one else is going to stand up for your child. The squeaky wheel gets the grease. Don’t worry about offending anyone or being “that mom”. I’ll be “that mom” all day long if it means my child gets an appropriate education. They don’t have to like me. That said, a little sugar goes a long way. Be kind yet diplomatic.

2. Know What You’re Talking About

Research, research, then research some more. There is a wealth of information available in regard to meeting the educational needs of profoundly gifted kids and why it matters to find the right fit and allow the child to work at their level. Check out the article databases at Davidson and Hoagies Gifted. Read A Nation Deceived, Genius Denied, and Exceptionally Gifted Children. These websites and books will provide you with information and studies that will help you decide what is a good next step for your child and calm your mind about your decision. It’s also important to know about any laws in your state that pertain to gifted education. Every state is different, however many states have some sort of mandate on gifted education programs. Research your state’s laws to know what kind of services your child may be entitled to from the public school system.

3. Know What You Want & Come Armed with a Game Plan

Once you have read A Nation Deceived and have done all the research on what you think may be the best learning situation for your child, ask for a meeting with the powers that be at the school. Have a plan of what the ideal educational system will look like for your child. Are you wanting a grade skip, entrance into a gifted program, subject acceleration? Know what you want in an ideal world and also decide what you can live with in negotiating with the powers that be. Try to anticipate the reactions or hesitations of the administration. Often times administration will say that it’s a socially destructive move. This is where your research from above comes in. Bring it with you and hand out highlighted copies of the studies. Other common responses from administration against gifted services can be bad penmanship, not emotionally ready, not mature enough… How can you counter their responses concerning your child? Your job is to be prepared for any objections they have and provide documentation to overcome these arguments. That may also include a portfolio of above grade level work and their achievement and IQ scores. If you come together with an agreeable plan, make sure you have the changes or accommodations in writing along with a timetable of when these steps or changes will be implemented. Also know that the meeting may not go as planned and you may need to look at other schooling options.

4. Know Your Child

We are with our kids so much that we pretty much know where every freckle on their face is and where all the lines on the back of their hands are, but also try to look at your situation from a different viewpoint. Sometimes we are too close to see the whole picture. We have a good sense of where they are academically. We also observe behavior differences when they aren’t working at an appropriate academic level. Listen to feedback from others such as teachers, coaches, music instructors. Get an idea of how your child is when you aren’t around. Sometimes the child can become withdrawn when not stimulated properly and sometimes they can become disruptive in the classroom in various ways (Is he/she board and acting out? Attention seeking? Have they been referred to as being the class clown? Do they close up and stop sharing about their day? Can they be found alone in the classroom during playtime?). There’s a good chance that there is something that they are doing that is pointing you to the need to have them academically tested or have their IQ tested. This can often be done within the school district, but many parents choose to have testing done privately where it can mean more extensive reporting with an unbiased agenda. (Hoagies has a list of psychologists listed by state that are familiar with giftedness on their website here.) Once you have testing done, then you have test scores (and typically a report from the tester) that can be worth it’s weight in gold in learning more about your child. You can use those results in advocating for your child with the school district. As time goes on, you may consider having your child sit for the PSAT or SAT tests. These test scores are also extremely helpful in advocating as they translate into a language that is more understandable and useful to high school administrators. Children under 13 can sign up directly though the College Board or ACT with some hoop jumping. Another option is to sign up for testing through a talent search program such as NUMATS from the Northwestern Center for Talent Development or Duke TIP (Duke University Talent Identification Program). Kids can take the PSAT 8/9 though NUMATS starting at 3rd grade age or 4th grade though Duke.

5. Build a Team

It’s important to have a team of people in your pocket that can help you advocate for your child’s needs. If testing shows your child is in the 99.9%, apply to the Davidson Young Scholar program STAT! (I have written about this program in the past and you can read the post here.) Once your child is accepted into DYS, you can be appointed a family consultant. That consultant can help you with issues that are important to the profoundly gifted population. The person that did your academic or IQ testing can also become part of your team. Other advocacy team members can include teachers or coaches that know your child and their personality and learning style and pace. These team members can help you advocate by writing letters about the importance of acceleration, about your child’s personality, and even letters of recommendation. Each team member can help advocate in different ways to help you and your child.

6. Find Your Tribe

Find a tribe of other parents that have exceptionally or profoundly gifted children. It may be online or locally. Not everyone is going to “get” your child or understand what you are going through. Friends and family members may judge you, say hurtful comments and tell you that you are raising your child wrong. Some friends may be supportive but just don’t fully understand the situation and the needs of exceptionally and profoundly gifted children. There are many gifted forums on Facebook that are very helpful in finding other similar families. DYS has online groups just for parents of profoundly gifted children. There are even groups specifically for highly, exceptionally, and/or profoundly gifted kids that you can join. It is so helpful to have a tribe that can offer been-there-done-that experiences, or other parents going though similar situations at the same time. They are supportive and non-judgmental. There are in person meetups around the country though Davidson Young Scholars and Profoundly Gifted Retreat. You will find your people in these groups and they are such an invaluable resource and some truly wonderful friendships can come out of these groups. You might even meet some people in your city or state! Look into your state to see if there is some type of gifted organization set up. These organizations are wonderful in helping provide information and advocacy. For example, Minnesota has the Minnesota Council for the Gifted and Talented. Within this organization, there are many subgroups that members can join and attend meetings. These are great places to meet other families with gifted kids. Your tribe will be great in offering support, cry with you, get angry with you, and hold you up when you feel like you hit a wall.

7. Crowdsource

While its not advocating a school system, crowdsourcing and networking can be a wonderful way to expose your child to different opportunities that can enrich their education. Reach out to your co-workers, neighbors, and friends/followers on social media to find mentors, arrange field trips, private tours, or even a job shadowing experience in an industry that interests your child. Someone always knows someone that can arrange a cool meetup. This has been successful for us by finding a Chemistry professor from a local private college that became a mentor to our son. We also were able to arrange private tours at local companies in fields that interested our son and made coffee dates to meet with other interesting people that have so much to share. Often times someone knows someone that is retired that would love to talk about math, physics, and so much more! (Side note: This is also a cool way to socialize and interact with people of all ages and backgrounds!) Networking can help open the door to a wide range of educational situations and experiences you didn’t even know existed.

Gifted Child

Advocating is hard work, ya’ll! It can feel like a full-time job. You know your child best, and it’s up to you to help provide for all their needs including an appropriate education. Don’t wait for the school to do something. Be proactive and fight for your baby cub! The reward in the end is amazing when you get to see your child finally thriving in a situation that is more suitable to their needs! Don’t give up!

Gifted Parenting

Patience

It takes a lot to challenge Elliott academically. When he was newly 3 and learning how to write the alphabet, he would get upset if he couldn’t form his letters to his standards. His little body still needed to develop the strength and dexterity in his hands to draw all those connecting lines. He would get upset and start crying. His mind so badly knew what he wanted it to do, if he could just get his fingers to work right. We would say, “You need to have patience, Elliott. It will come.”.  His idea of having patience in the heat of the moment was to yell, “PATIENCE!” repeatedly while still forcefully commanding his little body to catch up with his mind. (We tried hard not to giggle sometimes.)

Over the years, he has grown and has done an amazing job of regulating his emotions when he becomes frustrated. But he’s still a perfectionist. When he started college at 9, we talked to him about social norms. How to fit into his new schooling situation even though he sticks out like a sore thumb. The school doesn’t make accommodations for him, nor do we expect them to. If he gets stuck on a new math topic, he has learned the steps to be able to get over the hurdle without losing his cool. He’s grown and done such an amazing job in the last two years learning to regulate. He has a list of steps to follow when he’s stuck that he goes over in his head. First and foremost, on that list is to remember that if he gets stuck on a math problem when he’s 10, it’s not going to define the rest of his life. Then, breathe. Usually he just made a simple error that threw him off his game.

Recently in Multivariable Calculus, he got stuck on a problem during class time. We don’t attend classes with Elliott. We wait in a lobby or the coffee shop, so we don’t know first-hand what happens in class. One of Elliott’s friends from class let my husband know that he had become frustrated and she could see the tears well up in his eyes. She went over to comfort him and helped work though the issue. We processed that information and moved on.  But it wasn’t until a few days later that she shared more. When she went to comfort him, another student told her to “stop coddling him!”. Geez, kick him when he’s down. Kid, thank your lucky stars I wasn’t there to hear that.

Mama Bear’s gut reaction is to protect her cub. Every day I see other students at school facing emotional trauma. Either it’s a fight with a friend, frustration with a professor, issues going on at home, worries about grades or any number of other things. We all have feelings and sometimes we let those feelings slip out. My iPhone X stopped working last week. I took it to the Apple store only to find out that I was 40 days outside of warranty and that it was now a brick. (Thanks for nothing Apple!)  Well, guess what? Knowing I had $500 due on my Verizon account for that brick and I had to buy a new phone on top of that, it automatically made my face get hot and tears welled in my eyes. In public. I was a hot mess. When a 10-year-old who has limited life experience and working in an adult world day to day, there might be a time or two he gets overwhelmed.

Just like the rest of us.

A common question we get is how do the other students treat him at college? Up until now, my response has always been, “Awesome!”. They have taken him under their wings. They share snacks, text each other about classes, hang-out during passing time, help him remember the calculator/coat/gloves he left behind. They high five him in the halls and chat about classes. They even gab over Pokémon cards and Nintendo Switch games. Elliott says he feels like everyone else. That won’t change.

Everyone has opinions and ideas about everyone else’s lives. I get it. We judge, don’t take the time to listen or learn about each other. It seems to be a knee-jerk reaction when we encounter something that is different than our own way of life. I offer a challenge to you. Next time you see someone frustrated, in distress… have patience. “PATIENCE!” I need this reminder often! Give them a hug or a pat on the back. Let them know you care. We could all use a little more love and kindness to get though the day. Whether it’s a frustrated 10-year-old in a Calculus 3 class or a grown 42-year-old woman trying to hide her tears in the Apple store, we all have our moments.

Spread a little grace and compassion. I guarantee you’ll change someone’s day around!

Gifted Parenting

Why Are We Here?

I’m doing this new thing!

Only, it’s not actually new. I’ve been doing it for 10-1/2 years. But now it involves taking pen to paper (well, fingers to keyboard) and opening up to share our journey.

This crazy little ride my family is on is not the ride my husband and I stood in line for. We actually never really know what the actual ride is going to be like until we are on it, right? As we move though the guided barriers waiting for our turn to load ourselves into the moving carriage, our minds begin to wonder, we plan in our head for the unexpected; there will be some twists and turns, we know there’s going to be some really high highs, and some sudden drops. We can even get an idea of what to expect by the name of the ride.  Whoa, let’s skip “Tower of Terror” and head over to “It’s a Small World”, shall we?

In reality, I would guess that a very low percentage of lives go as one plans. Who plans for the extraordinary difficulties that life can throw at you? We would rather not think of it, let alone plan for it. Our reality is that we had a timeline when we would have a child. My husband would be 40, I would be 28. We would have this one child and he or she would grow up and attend the elementary school that I went to as a child. In the meantime, I went to school and earned my degree in graphic arts and was hopeful to work a hip job as an art director at a notable company in downtown Minneapolis. Pregnancy didn’t happen on the timeline we had planned.

Then one day four years later, Elliott was here!

There’s a lot of holes to fill in on our story. I want to set the class 5 gravel and pack in all the dirt. Elliott is in class 20 hours a week. That’s 20 hours I wait at a table on the college campus, twiddling my thumbs and surfing the net. I can’t look at people’s sunny vacation photos while living in the arctic tundra we call Minnesota and click though goofy memes for 20 hours a week. (Well, actually I can. And have. Therein lies the problem!)    

Elliott made me a mom. I had no experience and the expectations I had about parenting came from books. (And every book said to do something different!) When Elliott held his head up at birth and rolled over intentionally and repeatedly at 4 weeks old, we just thought this is what babies do. Like every sleep deprived yet proud parent, I would post the fun things Elliott was doing on Facebook. It didn’t take long to realize it made some people uncomfortable.

One difficultly we found in raising a profoundly gifted human is that people in a similar situation tend to hold their children and their experiences close to their family. I totally get it! If we can’t even post proud moments on Facebook, why would we open the door to share more and possibly face criticism and judgement? I know there are other reasons why people don’t share as well. Privacy concerns, internet safety… all valid and respected reasons. However, it makes this journey really damn hard and lonely when there aren’t too many stories are being shared publicly. Parenting a profoundly gifted child is a lot of work. It can entail a lot of reading, research, trial and error, and mad Google skills to try to find a tidbit here or there on topics such as social and asynchronous development, schooling choices, 2E (twice exceptional) issues. And just being able to find a tribe; other parents with been there, done that experience to support you. When you find others, it helps you to breathe and know it’s going to be ok. Chances are you won’t screw up your kid. (Fingers crossed!)

While not a popular decision, as a family we decided we would like to share our adventure of raising a profoundly gifted child. Above all, since we know first-hand how isolating it can be, we want others to know they aren’t alone. I hope to share some stories of Elliott, choices we made and why we made them, and resources that we found helpful. Hopefully there will be some laughs and there will probably be a bit of sarcasm peppered in-between some of the drier bits. I also hope to answer questions, so please feel free to reach out to me! If you are curious about Elliott or stumbled on my site because you have found yourself also raising a profoundly gifted kiddo, I’m so glad you are here! Grab a cup of coffee and something sweet to eat! It’s no secret we need all the caffeine and sugar to keep up!

(And thank you to my family and my tribe for your encouragement! I couldn’t start MY journey without your support!)

Parenting Profoundly Gifted Child

Resources

Davidson Young Scholars

Why Davidson Young Scholars? After you’ve gone through all the testing and you get your child’s IQ report back from the psychologist that says your child is profoundly gifted, all sorts of feelings start to hit you. And it’s a multi-tiered reaction. Step 1: Beam with pride. 2: Feel validated. 3. Panic! (Cue cold sweat) Now what?!

It was a chance meeting at a homeschool playgroup at a park to play chess when another mom with a similarly precocious 5-year-old leaned over and whispered to me, “You know about Davidson Young Scholars, right?”.  But how did she know? I just met her!

Now I know. We just know. There’s no secret handshake but there’s a look. (It looks similar to exhaustion interwoven with fear and uncertainty.)

That afternoon I went home and looked up the Davidson Young Scholar (DYS for short) program and immediately got all my ducks in a row and applied for my son.

What is Davidson Young Scholars?

When I meet other parents that have a child with a PG diagnosis, DYS is the first place I point them to. As their website suggests, “The Davidson Young Scholars program provides free services designed to nurture the intellectual, social, emotional, and academic development of profoundly intelligent young people between the ages of 5 and 18.”.

Sometimes if feels like an underground society but it’s a safe and welcoming place. Privacy and confidentiality are mandatory. After you submit your child’s test scores, fill out the online application, and submit supplemental information, you then wait to see if your child has been admitted. It can seem like forever but depending on when you submit the application, you will find out in about a month.

Davidson Young Scholars provides consulting services, educational resources, mentor lists, online classes, a yearly conference, formal and informal meet-ups nationally and locally, and a community of other parents walking in similar shoes as you. And it’s a place where you can talk about the trials and tribulations of raising a profoundly gifted child and also celebrate with other parents when there’s an accomplishment that you don’t feel you can share on your own Facebook page.

Finding Our Tribe

Our son joined the pen-pal program and we have taken part in online seminars about various PG topics. We also traveled across the country to a meet other DYS families and formed new friendships and bonds. Our family has also taken part in local picnics and meetups with other families in our area. Their online resource guides have been extremely beneficial as well. Our family consultant helped us by writing letters to school officials to help advocate for our son when inquiring about different schooling opportunities. The most amazing part of the whole program is that it’s free. While DYS does require test scores (cost dependent on the test your child takes), there are no other fees to join and utilize the services outside of any traveling and conference fees you decide to take part in.

Davidson Young Scholar at Physics Fest at A&M.

More importantly, the community has been the most valuable resource for us. There are Facebook groups for parents that are organized by other DYS parents (Your child must be a confirmed Davidson Young Scholar to join.) These groups are a great place to meet other DYS families to get feedback and recommendations from other people who have gone through a similar journey as well as to celebrate in our children’s accomplishments together. Sometimes we laugh, sometimes we cry, but mostly we support each other in this out-of-the-ordinary journey we are all on together. The more active you are in DYS, the more beneficial it will be.

We are very grateful to be a part of the Davidson Young Scholar family and highly encourage the program to other parents!